Video Transcript
Exploring how to use your voice and body on stage will help you tackle the most important piece of giving a powerful talk: connecting with your audience. People aren't computers. They're social creatures with all kinds of unique traits. Your first job as a speaker is to build a trusting human bond with your audience. There are many ways to do that. Here are five suggestions: 1. Make eye contact. Make eye contact with members of your audience right from the start of your talk and continue making eye contact throughout. Humans learn a lot about one another through eye contact. Our brains can detect the tiniest muscle movements in someone else's eyes. We use that information to figure out all sorts of things— like how that person is feeling and whether or not we can trust them. And while we’re doing that, they’re figuring out the same things about us. Scientists have even shown that when two people stare at one another, their brains start to adopt the same emotional state. So when we make eye contact, our minds link up. 2. Show vulnerability. One of the best ways to put an audience at ease is to reveal your own vulnerability. It’s like a tough cowboy walking into a saloon and opening his coat to show he's not carrying any weapons. Everyone relaxes. Take this example from Ethan Lisi, who spoke at a TED-Ed Student Talks event in 2020. “Another common stereotype that is often associated with autism is that autistic people lack empathy. And again, this is not true. I actually have lots of empathy. I’m just not really good at showing it. Whenever a friend is trying to tell me some of the struggles that they’re going through, I often don’t know how to express my reply. And that is why I don't show as much empathy as my non-autistic friends do. Emotional expression, however much or however little, is difficult for me. And that is because I am bursting inside with every single emotion one feels at all times. Though, of course, I cannot express it that way. Otherwise, let’s say happiness, for example, would come out as a huge burst of gleeful wheezing, hand flapping, and loud vocal ‘woohoo!’ Whereas you may just smile.” Ethan's willingness to open up about something vulnerable helps the audience open up as well; allowing them to see him, and perhaps the world, from a new perspective. We feel connected. We're ready and eager to learn more. Sharing something vulnerable is a powerful tool a speaker can use to connect to an audience. But, as with anything powerful, it should be handled with care. It is possible to share too much personal information in a talk, in a way that makes the audience feel uncomfortable. Make sure any vulnerable moments you include are there to help support the message you are trying to deliver. If they aren't doing that, it's probably best to leave them out. Vulnerability related to your message is powerful. Sharing something personal just for the sake of it is not. If you're not sure whether or not a vulnerable moment is appropriate, try your talk out on an honest friend. 3. Make them laugh, but not squirm. Concentrating on a talk can be hard work for an audience. Humor is a wonderful way to keep everyone with you. Remember Sophie Scott’s talk from Lesson One? If Sophie is right, part of the reason laughter exists is that it helps humans form bonds. When you laugh with someone, you both feel you're on the same side. It's a fantastic tool for building a connection. Some of the very best speakers in the world spend a lot of time building this connection in their talks. However, take caution. Spending a lot of time on funny stories, while still delivering a meaningful message, is difficult. It's not recommended for most talks. But, if you can find just one short story that makes people smile, it may unlock the rest of what you have to say. 4. Park your ego. Would you want to listen to someone who seems completely full of themselves? Nothing hurts a talk more than the sense that the speaker is showing off. If an audience gets that impression early on in a talk, look out. They will likely stop listening. TED Speaker Salman Khan put it beautifully, “Be yourself. The worst talks are the ones where someone is trying to be someone they aren’t. If you are generally goofy, then be goofy. If you are emotional, then be emotional. The one exception to that is if you are arrogant and self-centered, then you should definitely pretend to be someone else.” Ego can show up in a lot of ways the speaker may not even be aware of, such as: name dropping, telling stories just to show off, boasting about your achievements, or making the talk all about you. Remember that the purpose of your talk is to gift an idea, not tell everyone how great you are. Still, these things can be hard to catch yourself on. Every leader needs someone she can count on for honest feedback. Someone who's not afraid to tell her the truth about how she's coming across, even if that's difficult to hear. A good way to know whether or not your talk seems boastful is to read it for that trusted person. Give them the chance to say, “That was great in parts, but honestly, you came across a little full of yourself.” 5. Tell a story. We’re born to love stories. They create interest, empathy, emotion, and a sense of mystery. They can help an audience understand why a topic matters to you, and encourage them to care about that topic, too. Powerful stories can be great at any stage of a talk. A great way to open, a great way to make your point in the middle, and sometimes (though less often) a great way to end. The stories that work best to connect with the audience are the stories about you personally, or about the people close to you. Tales of failure, awkwardness, bad luck, danger or disaster, when told honestly, can really hook an audience. They start really listening. They start to share some of your emotions. They start to care about you. They start to like you. But be careful. The stories you tell must be authentic to you. Again, stories that seem boastful will push an audience away. Ask yourself: is it the real me telling this story? A good test is to imagine whether or not you would tell the story to a group of friends. If so, how would you tell it? Friends are good at knowing when you’re trying to be someone other than you. And so are audiences. Be yourself and you won't go wrong. The suggestions and tools in this lesson should all be used as part of a real desire to connect to your audience. It's that connection that's important. You’re a human, and your listeners are humans. Think of them as friends and reach out with your gift.
Video Summary
Overview
This video provides practical techniques for public speakers to build genuine human connections with their audience, emphasizing that effective communication goes beyond just content delivery to creating trust and rapport.
Key Takeaways
- Make eye contact to create neural synchronization and build trust with audience members
- Show vulnerability related to your message to help audiences open up and connect
- Use appropriate humor to build bonds and keep the audience engaged
- Park your ego by avoiding boasting, name-dropping, and making the talk about yourself
- Tell authentic personal stories that create empathy and emotional connection
Conclusion
The ultimate goal is to build genuine human connections by being authentic and treating your audience as friends, using these techniques to effectively share your ideas as a gift rather than a performance.